some great bellies ache with many bumble bees

in lieu of all the 'end of summer' posts, I feel prompted to give my own reflections about the changing of seasons.

In May and June I underwent a significant amount of changes. Paul moved to New York. Wyatt got a divorce. Jeremy came back from Europe unexpectedly. Erica and Cameron got married. I moved into a new apartment with Amanda and Kristin. Jamie went to Europe. I hung out with with Sam. Jamie got back from Europe. I stopped hanging out with Sam. I kept busy, I went to ridiculous amounts of shows. June came and went, a flurry of wedding activity and moving trucks. July and August came and went. I was hardly here. I flew to new York, I drove to Phoenix. I went to Portland. I came back to Long Beach and didn't know what to think. It didn't really feel like coming home.

And for the first time, I can see why. I haven't invested here. I have pulled away from the the people that know me best. I keep busy, too busy. I work a lot. and when I am not working I am at shows. which is still working (sortof).

BUT...I miss relationship. I miss people that know me and have known me for years. the ones who don't always need to know the backstory before a story...they just know.

so I made a list. a list of the people I want to invest in. a list of people I want to spend time with.
and I started spending time with them.
and its been great.
yeah, I still went to 3 shows this week. But I also had breakfast at Two Umbrellas with Erica and Cameron. And I had Margaritas with Myste and Katie and Melissa and Kristin and Amanda and Ericam. And there was lots of Project Runway. and The Warriors. its been glorious.

Its funny how something so simple can make a person feel sane again. I like it.
and Becca flew in yesterday. hooray!

So, I agree with Danielle. It just wasn't my summer. I spent a lot of time working towards worthless things. I spent a lot of time looking backwards. I've missed the old days. But now I look forward. I have a lot.