Saturday, June 17, 2006

At this particular moment, there are any number of things I could choose to be irritated about.

1. The severe lack of communication skills that I find most men have today.

2. The severe lack of vacation I have had in the last 6 months.

3. The severe lack of caboyhydrates and sugar I have eaten in the past two weeks (thank you, stupid bridesmaid dress)

4. My inability to pay my bills on time (or at all)

5. My piss poor choices in relationships

6. The incessant stream of bums in the alley behind my apartment (directly beneath my bedroom window) that root through dumpsters in hopes of finding bottles and cans.

Today, I let the bums win.
Today, they are my source of aggravation.
Today, I will blame them.
Really, they NEVER stop. I can't hardly sleep in this room because I battle the sound of clanking bottles and the stomping of cans. If I am really lucky, they heave the cans and bottles into metal truck beds with with fervor. How many cans and bottles could these bums possibly find in my alley, one might ask? Lord only knows -- but they sure find a lot. and they find them every night.

I've heard that a diet lacking in starch and carbs can lead to heightened emotions and listlessness?
Maybe that is my problem.

But really, all fingers point to the can stomping bums. I cant sleep with this racket.

6 comments:

shawnalyne said...

You need to come home.
Love, Mom

ms. tea said...

we used to have the "throwing the bottles as hard as they can into their pickup" collectors in my neighborhood. i guess yours turned out to be more lucrative for them

you word verification is: jeaewuy

sounds like a funky spelling of the Hebrew God.

rebecca said...

i hate the boys in your life they suck

nina said...

we have identical lists.
especially in bills and relationships, and the lack of vacations.
i feel your pain, i really really do! i hope it improves soon. or else, we should get together soon,with some mai tais.

rosie said...

I enjoyed reading this list. ps I owe you an apology for when you were in town. I was driving intoxicated relatives around all night. If it is any consolation I would have MUCH rather been geetin' me a lil' Stranny fix

danielle said...

this might be one of my favorite posts of yours ever. first of all, you said "piss poor", which has the most delightful rythmn when you say it out loud. and then you talked about bridesmaid dresses and bums. just genius.
ps. if it's any consolation i myself am having a hard time squeezing into a bridesmaid dress of my own and have had to switch to sugar-free vanilla! it tastes like death. death and old people.