"JUICE!"

Two days ago I had an interview with a marketing firm.
I did my homework, looked up the company, and pieced together that they were primarily a company that deals with Sports and Entertainment marketing. I could handle that.
The first interview was awesome. The girl conducting the interview really seemed to like me and offered me an interview on the spot. Considering I had heard the secretary set up like 8 other interviews while I was waiting, I figured this was good. I was already standing out amidst the billion applicants.
Then she tells me this: I need to come in for my second interview, and can I come in tomorrow? Am I free from the hours of 10 am to 8 pm ? I'm told to dress professional (no jeans) and wear comfortable shoes. I'm also told that I won't be doing any of the glamourous sports type stuff she's just told me about, that it will be entry level tasks with some of their other clients. The second interview is more like 'job shadowing' and one on one time with one of the employees. They ask me questions, I ask them questions, etc etc.

I was ok with all of that.
So I'm set for my 10 hour interview.
I show up this morning at 10:15 (which is precisely when they wanted me).
I sit on their leather couch, watching Home Improvement, for 45 minutes. The secretary apologizes for the wait. I'm strangely ok with it and am enjoying Tim The Toolman Taylor.
I can hear noises coming from one of the office rooms. There's the occasional cheering and clapping.

Finally, 11 am. The doors open and the dudes come flooding out. They are high-fiving and yelling and clapping and exclaiming "Bro! Dude! We are gonna kill it today! Are you ready, bro?". There are more high fives. And a lot of yelling of the word "JUICE!".

I am filled with immediate concern. What am I doing here?

I'm paired with my "bro", Jared. Apparently he's their top rep, 6 weeks running! I'm told that I am lucky to be shadowing such a man.

Jared starts off with a series of inane questions. "So, Lindsay, how would YOU define marketing?" I'm great with interview questions, I pass all his silly tests with flying colors. Then we get to his car. We load up with other marketing bro's and another 'shadower', like myself.

Jared tells me that today, we are working in home improvement. Which is strangely ironic, given my morning entertainment. This means we are telling people about various home improvement services that their clients offer. Windows, Roofing, Doors, Cabinets, etc. I know nothing about any of these things, and the day is beginning to sound like drudgery. Then Jared asks, "So, where do you think the best place is to find s homeowner?" I answer, "Home Depot". It seemed like the right thing to say. Jared says "Well, yes. But the BEST place to find a homeowner is in their home!"

Begin Lindsay's inner monologue: OHMYGOSHYOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGME. door to door? we are going door to door ? GET ME OUT OF HERE.

But I carpooled. WIth all these eager and bro-tastic sales reps. I'm totally and completely stuck with them.

Jared launches right in, and we go door to door. We go to 100 houses in 3 hours, and each time he gives the same obnoxious pitch. While walking from house to house he fills my ears with nonsense about upper management and growth potential and crap like that. We got yelled at by a lot of old people, we swindled a few more old people, and my feet were aching in my red boots.

I was a door to door saleswoman for roofing, siding, and windows. And I wasn't getting paid for my time. This was an 'interview', mind you. It is now almost 2:30 and its time for lunch. As we are walking to the car to pick up the other reps in other neighborhoods, I just come out with it.

"Jared..."
"Yeah?"
"I've come to the decision that this is not a job I can see myself doing. I think it would be a waste of the company's time and resources to continue training me today."

I was supposed to stay til 8, so we could all meet back at the office for "Atmospheres" - a time where we all talk about how GREAT our days went. I made it til 2:30.
Those were the longest 3 hours of my life.

I made Jared drive me back to my car at the office immediately. I thanked him for his time and I sped off as quickly as I could, thankful that I would never have to see any of those people ever again.

Seriously. The guys were giving high fives and yelling "juice!". What more can I say ?