CROCS.

Milton (my intern) sent me this link today: http://sub.crocodileadventureclub.net/archive/
I will post the link here (so you can see all the lovely croc pictures) - but you must read below. I got a good chuckle out of it for sure.

A Brief Guide to Crocodilians we Like
see also: Gavials, Why They Can't Play Too


Crocodiles have medium-length snouts, jagged smiles, and curved scales along their backs
They tend to have Biblical names
Crocodiles enjoy 7-Up but hate Sprite
Crocodiles drafted a Bill of Crocodilian Rights, but burned it when they realized it'd also apply to their delicious, tender young-uns.
Crocodiles can't read, but have never been outed as illiterate because they're incredibly unpleasant and therefore solitary beasts.
Crocodiles accidentally invented the Flowbee in the early 90s and are truly sorry for it.
Finally, crocodiles like to make tooting noises whenever they finish doing something.


A Similar Compendium Concerning Alligators, Nature's Andy Dicks


Alligators have more aristocratic features than crocodiles, which means crocodiles often refer to them as "fancy"
Alligators hate using cellphones and will only make calls from princess phones
Alligators like stout beers and ginger ale, but nothing else
An alligator named Lawrence once bit through a killer whale. It took him 8 days and 3 metric tons of horse tranquilizers.
All alligators have read Fast Food Nation, consequently they've all killed at least one McDonald's executive
Many alligators rebelled against their parents' dated archosaur values
Most alligators believe Gygax is a better player than Beckham


A Enchiridion to Caiman, Masters of New Age Medicine


Caiman are naturally stout, a characteristic that limits their roles in Hollywood to "munchkin", "hobbit", and "poor Bond-villain trap"
Many caiman believe people still do "The Bartman"
All caiman enjoy Cajun food
Caiman don't play MMORPGs because they get bored with them after the initial leveling high, also, no thumbs
Many caiman actually read books on the New York Times Bestseller list, despite the fact that they're all either absurd self-help books or stories about quirky executives having mid-life crisises.
Caiman inherited the music industry from Sy Spurling 20 years ago, so they're to blame.