1. The incident of blood at the water park.
I was 14 and it was summer in Sacramento. The church youth group went to Water World (Not the Kevin Costner film. A "Raging Waters" of sorts..slides, pools with simulated waves, etc.). It was near the end of the day, and I was in line for the biggest, baddest water slide of ALL TIME. I had been waiting in line for nearly 30 minutes with a gropu of 5 or 6 kids from the youth group. Among those friends was my crush: Kevin Davis. I weaseled my way next to him in line, and it was nearing our turn for the slide. Suddenly, a young girl starting poining and waving her hands wildly in my general direction while shoulting: "YOU'RE BLEEDING!" Wasn't there any other way she could have said it? But, no. there was no tact, no grace, no hiding the horrible truth from everyone. All eyes in the immeadiate vicinity were drawn to the RIVER of blood that was running down my leg. I was "surfing the crimson wave" and it was apparent to everyone (including kevin davis). I raced down the stairs and into the bathroom. I didn't come out until it was time to go home.
2. The water ski waterfall
I was 12. I had to pee. We were on a lake in a nice boat that belonged to some nice people who knew my parents. I hate water; especially water that is cold. This lake was really cold. I really didn't want to get in the water, but there were no 'facilities' on the boat. The pee was coming out my ears. I couldn't stand it any longer. I jumped overboard. While midair (or slightly before), the pee began to flow freely. And it flowed onto the boat deck, and all down myself, and into the water. It escaped no one's attention. I peed the boat. I floated in silence while I watched my mom mop the deck.
3. birthday's take precedence
Spphomore year at Biola, and my high school best friend - Abbie - and I were just starting to patch things up from our failed attempt at being roomates. Out of the blue, Abbie called me and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her. I said I already had plans with my friend Dan, and I was taking him out for his birthday. She seemed dissatisfied with that answer, and pressed me to join her for dinner. I told her quite frankly: "Abbie, I am celebrating Dan's birthday. We can go out anytime, but tonight is his night. Come on, you know that birthday's take precendence." So, she dropped the argument and let me go out with Dan. She waited until the next day to tell me it had been, in fact, her birthday. and I had forgotten. I am the worst best friend EVER.
4. "Just top it off with a silver bullet": famous last words. let's just say I probably didn't need to be topped off. and phil's shrubs probably didn't need to be puked in.
5. I dated a guy that looked like Beavis once. That was mildly embarassing.
and there you have it.
ok. it's your turn now. do tell...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
i once bled at a water park too! but it was through my nose because the kid who played "hobie" on baywatch had elbowed me in the face. i'll work on 4 more.
well seeming as how most of my life has been embarassing i would have to sum it up to my most prominent "accident" stories.
to make a ridiculously long story short as possible.....laughing harder than i have ever in my life with a bladder full of cherry pepsi...i wet my pants all over my office desk destroying the desk calender. to make matters worst I was surrounded by 6 girls in which i was forced to reveal my tradegy which proceeded in several of the others girls have accidents of their own.
linna?
1-5 ("1" being the worst)
5. In elementary school, back when it was acceptable to wear such things as sweat pants to school (and there WAS a time when that was just fine... I promise.) I inadvertently wore the one pair to school(of the three pair I owned) that I only wear to bed for a very good reason... There was a hole about 4 inches wide in the crotch... Wellll, I didn't remember/notice/realize this until about half a school day in. I didn't find out until the following year (while talking to old school friends) that EVERYONE had noticed this hole and decided not to fill me in.
4. Youth group. Our youth pastor is preaching away and I decide that I'm going to use my artistic gifts in order to bless the Church with a beautiful sketch of Jesus on the inside cover of one of the church owned Bibles. About 5 minutes into my sketch our pastor notices my work. He actually yelled at me in the middle of preaching and repremanded me for defacing the Bible. "Defacing!?!", I thought. "What defacing?" I looked down at my artwork and immediately my eyes were opened to the fact that my Would-be-Sistine-Chapel art was no more than a scraggly haired, stick figure of a hippie flashing the Peace sign.
3. In one of my usual rituals during college I attempted to quietly slip into my class that I was 15min late for. Only hitch on this mission was that as I cracked open the door to the room (which was strategically placed almost exactly behind the professor, right in front of the hundred students) my foot jammed against it and stopped it short so, as I attempted to slide into the room all in one quick motion, my face smashed into the edge of the door thus jerking my head back and causing me to wince in pain. Almost without hesitation I gained my composure and headed straight for the back of the classes... passing various gasps and snickers and I went. (*my face had a large mark on it for the rest of the day.)
2. In highschool I took an art class... which is irrelevant to my embarrassment, I just thought you might like to know that I took art... I and II.
However, in that class I was embarrassed when at one point I tried to make my bestfriend, who was sitting next to me in the back of the class, laugh by letting spit slowly come out of my mouth while making a contorted "retarded" facial expression. My desired intention was met except that for some horrible reason when my friend laughed (quietly) it somehow caught the attention of the ENTIRE class including our teacher. Right when everyone turned their attention to us I sat up and as I did so, the spit in my mouth poured out onto my lap and left one of those awesome spit trails dangling from my lip for all to see.
5. My girlfriend (at the time) and I got caught being... Freaky by none other than her Mother. Not only embarrassing moment numero uno (or Cinco in this case), but also a very damaging moment for me, her, her family, my family, the Pope, the President, Elian Gonzalez, the NRA, SAG and AFTRA.
When i started singing and removing my clothes in front of some vague people..hahha...nnnnnnnooooooooo..actually
its when i was singing and then i saw people were kinda shocked at my voice..
1. trying to keep up with one of my friends at a local pub...having way too many tequila shots, and black opals...puking all over the table and floor...and getting kicked out. not my finest moment
2. oh this is a bad one. I was at a little dance club here in town (I say little, because it's Idaho...and that's all there is) dancing with my future husband, I notice a couple of guys from my campus crusade college group sitting at a table right in front of us. Jim and I proceed to dance, all of a sudden, he drops me on the floor and continues dancing, trying to act all cool, which was not possible.
3. My youth group was just getting back from a week long mission trip and headed over to the Old Country Buffet for a celebration lunch...One of the guys get's some ice cream and sits across from me with it. He goes on to ask the guy next to him, "hey, smell this ice cream, it smells moldy..." me, being the outgoing, nosey type...butt in to this conversation, "IT IS NOT MOLDY!" he's like, "ann, it is here, smell it..." as I go to smell it he shoves it in my face...I completely asked for that one.
4. I think every girl has a period story...
5. I'm sure I have more that I can't think of, but right now the only other one that comes to mind, is me passing out at a different club and getting me and all of my friends kicked out. I really sound like an alcoholic here...ahh the days of being single.
Post a Comment